In the Bible, there are many men known for their leadership in government, business, and the church. Some of these men were obedient to God, making Him the focus of their lives while others were ungodly and self-seeking. But have you considered the role of their wives in their faithfulness or disobedience to God?  We are told that a good wife is better than riches (Proverbs 31:10) and a crown to her husband (Proverbs 12:4). We also know that a bad wife is like a disease (Proverbs 12:4) and a man is much better off to live alone than with a difficult wife (Proverbs 21:9; Proverbs 21:19).

Consider Mrs. Haman, whose given name was Zeresh. We read about her in Esther 5:9-14 and 6:12-14. King Ahasuerus had promoted Haman above all the other princes. While all the king’s servants bowed down and paid homage to Haman, Mordecai (who was Jewish) would not. Haman was furious and wanted Mordecai dead, so he convinced the king to “annihilate” the Jews (Esther 3:13). Queen Esther learned of the plot and planned a banquet for the King Ahasuerus and Haman. This is our first introduction to Haman’s wife, Zeresh.

Haman was thrilled to get this special invitation from the queen. He told Zeresh and his friends about the great riches, how the king had promoted him, how he had advanced above other officials, and how Queen Esther wanted him at her banquet. The one thing that stood in the way of his happiness was Mordecai. Zeresh and his friends suggested that gallows be made and that Haman should advise the king for Mordecai to be hung there (Esther 5:9-14).

Eventually, Haman was devastated to learn that the king honored Mordecai rather than seek his death. He returned home to Zeresh in mourning, telling her and his friends what happened. While Esther devised a strategy to save Mordecai and her people, Haman’s wickedness was exposed, leading to his execution.

What lessons can be learned from Zeresh that are relevant to modern day wives?

• A wife’s desire for her husband to have position, power, and money can be his downfall. Certainly those things were Haman’s desire too, but Zeresh encouraged him in his wrong priorities. No doubt she wanted him to advance in his career which ultimately led to their evil plot. At what cost will a wife encourage her husband to climb the “social ladder?” A lack of contentment and a love of money will lead to all kinds of evil (1 Timothy 6:6-10, Colossians 3:5).
• A wife’s counsel to her husband can influence his decisions. A husband often comes to his wife when he is discouraged or in need of a sounding board for his problems. Zeresh counseled Haman to pursue what he wanted at any cost, even the cost of a human life. What might the outcome of the story had been if she had encouraged Haman to do right? As wives, we need to encourage our husbands and give Godly advice (Proverbs 12:4, 18:22, 19:14).
• A wife’s ungodliness can result in the destruction of her family. Because of her evil plan, her husband and ten sons were killed and hung on the gallows (Esther 9:10, 13). How many marriages are destroyed and children lost because of an ungodly wife and mother with misplaced priorities (Colossians 3:2, Proverbs 31:11-12, 28)?

We may never have considered the life of Zeresh as having lessons for wives today, but in her we see how an ungodly woman can contribute to her husband’s downfall. The attitude, behavior, and counsel of a wife can lead a husband closer or further from God.